I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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