Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
