Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
