I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
