OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
