i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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