brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
