yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and i looked up. we had an audience...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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