I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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