I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
