Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
