mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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