guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize