your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
