I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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