He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
