i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
