I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
