If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize