I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
