she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Alive.
So much puke
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
