is your mom at the bar?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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