Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
