I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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