He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
