I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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