I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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