Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
