Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
