I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
false alarm, still single
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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