don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
