I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
