Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
