i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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