Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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