no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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