so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
