the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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