So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
