dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
