shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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