Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
