Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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