that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
