I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
