I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
