Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
this is an emotional support booty call
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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