You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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