And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
