k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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