I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just tell him i said nine months
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
