woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
