I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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