We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
