I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
