If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
