Do you still have your period?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
