I seem to have left my pride at pride
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
