the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize