how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
