i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
