shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm bleeding and have questions
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
