You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She announced her abortion via fbk
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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