a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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