yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
