I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
