last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
